


What they don't know (should have been obvious)

by sprx77



Series: Kinktober is 20/20 [12]
Category: Naruto
Genre: Alternate Universe - Sasuke Never left Konoha, Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Beards (Relationships), Dai-nana-han | Team 7 are Trolls (Naruto), Dai-nana-han | Team 7 are dating (Naruto), Established Relationship, F/F, F/M, Grinding, Kinktober 2020, M/M, Multi, Oral Sex, Polyamory, Threesome - F/M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-26
Updated: 2020-12-26
Packaged: 2021-03-11 00:54:29
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,991
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28336509
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sprx77/pseuds/sprx77
Summary: Team Seven is voluntold to attend a mostly civilian dinner party, on pain of Yamanaka wraith. No one will ever suspect they're dating.Kinktober Day 18: Anal Play orcoercion
Relationships: Haruno Sakura/Uchiha Sasuke/Uzumaki Naruto, Haruno Sakura/Yamanaka Ino, Uchiha Sasuke/Uzumaki Naruto
Series: Kinktober is 20/20 [12]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1953403
Comments: 8
Kudos: 112





	What they don't know (should have been obvious)

**Author's Note:**

  * For [DominoTNK](https://archiveofourown.org/users/DominoTNK/gifts), [LadyTeldra](https://archiveofourown.org/users/LadyTeldra/gifts).



> I wanted some Sasunarusaku in my life. This didn't -quite- turn into the porn I was craving, but it exists, and it made me laugh. I wasn't quite vibing with the dynamics, here, but it's ot3 team 7 and I like it well enough!

“I’m not heterosexual enough for this bullshit.” Sasuke said flatly, turning heel and walking barefoot back into the kitchen.

Naruto snagged his arm as he went, redirecting him in a smooth 180.

“If I have to deal with it, you have to deal with it too.” Sakura leveled him with a hard look that hadn’t _really_ worked on him since the first time he saw her drool into his pec in the morning.

“Is this mlm/wlw solidarity?” He grumbled.

“No.” Naruto said in tones of great, patronizing patience. “This is loving and supporting your girlfriend.”

“I don’t have a girlfriend.” Sasuke lied. “I have a teammate that I fuck sometimes.”

Sakura snorted hard, Naruto’s laughter choosing a quiet huff.

“You’ve never fucked me in your life.” She corrected, raising both eyebrows with disbelief.

He rolled his eyes with his whole body.

“Semantics.” He said blithely. She was still smiling. Naruto looked on with that dopey fond expression.

“Your parents already know you’re gay.” Sasuke tried arguing, as though everyone involved hadn’t all tried to get out of this already. “We did the whole meet the parents thing. Naruto, you were there.”

“I was there.” Naruto agreed, eyes dancing with amusement.

“ _Ino_ ’s parents know you’re gay.” Sasuke appealed to reason. “They’re very aware. They know you’re dating their daughter. They’ve seen it. Aliens from space have seen it. Literally. There was an entire thing.”

“Ino’s extended family doesn’t know she’s gay.” Sakura put her foot down, unimpressed. “They don’t understand shinobi life and it’s too complicated to try to explain. So every few years they pretend Inoichi is religiously fucking Ino’s mom and the reason no other kids have popped out is, like, sad coincidence.”

“Like, _only_ Ino’s mom?” Naruto’s nose scrunched up. It didn’t make any more sense this time than the first time.

“It is your Kage-given duty to be my beard tonight, Uchiha Sasuke.” Sakura told him, reaching forward to grab his collar with one hand. His eyes deepened to a shade of onyx more appropriate for the bedroom, not least because he dwarfed her by half a foot and she didn’t care an ounce.

Sasuke settled his hands on her hips, thought better of it, and shamelessly extracted himself. Any movement that placed him—safely—behind Naruto was pure coincidence.

“Naruto can be your beard.” He said.

“Like hell.” Naruto muttered, and then looked up sharply at the warning glare he got. “Well, I mean—you’ve _seen_ me and Ino together. We look like Hi no Kuni’s next top models.”

Grudgingly Sasuke had to admit that was true.

They were blonde, golden, stunning; the fabric companies and designers that cared all about court fashions and such at the capital would literally kill to have the blue-eyed gem-hued couple dappled in sunstruck gold.

“You look like siblings.” Sasuke said, already knowing it was futile.

“We have entirely different shades of blonde.” Naruto looked over his shoulder, incredulous. Sasuke buried his forehead into the back of his neck, sighing with resignation.

“Yeah, Sasuke, they’re entirely different shades of blonde.” Sakura’s voice parroted, absolutely mocking, and Sasuke considered starting a fight he wouldn’t win just so he could take this to a bedroom and they could all, thoroughly distracted, make out like bandits in terms of ‘awkwardly civilian dinners avoided this week’.

“What’s in it for me?” He asked, more-or-less already defeated but hoping to get something out of this.

Sakura cocked her hip, raised a brow, and leveled him with a Look.

“Oh, is it me? Can I be the prize?” Naruto stretched out in between them like a satisfied nincat. “I make a _great_ consolation prize.”

“And how could I give you to him?” Sakura asked, indulgent. Sasuke let his arms wind around Naruto’s waist from behind and the blonde practically purred.

“Any way you like, Sakura-chan.” His eyes went half-lidded, blue fire smoldering.

“Cute.” Sakura laughed, taking a few steps forward to tap gently on his nose, which immediately wrinkled. She stepped into his inseam, pressing them together, and hummed considerably before he could even muster a complaint.

“I could probably think of something.” She murmured, with great prurient consideration. “How would you like to receive your gift, Uchiha?”

She only ever called him that when they were like this, playful and teasing, and his last name sounded like a challenge and a beckon on her lips.

“Yeah, _Uchiha._ How do you want me?” Naruto tipped his head back, crown touching Sasuke’s shoulder and eyes peeking up from under his hair to meet black.

“As often as possible.” Sasuke tightened his grip and bent his head to kiss the throat bared for the taking, pulling Naruto into him firmly.

“Funny.” Sakura leaned up into a kiss, capturing Naruto’s lips, and the blonde sighed, pleased, relaxing into Sasuke’s hold. “You should take that act on the road.”

“Mm.” Sasuke bit a little, watched Naruto shiver. “Great idea. I’ll get right on that. Last Uchiha, wanted in three countries—”

“Wanted in _every_ country I’m in, honeybunches.” Naruto leered, and Sasuke bit _hard_ at the junction of neck and shoulder in short-sighted retaliation. The short-sightedness, ironic for an Uchiha, manifested .2 seconds later as Naruto moaned out shakily, trembling in his arms, and he can’t really _do_ anything about it.

Regret kicked in hard and he directed his attention to their teammate.

“How soon do we have to go be straight and functional?”

“In two hours.” Sakura smirked at him. “And don’t be dramatic, _honeybunches_ , we just have to pretend. No celestial being posing as a god could make _you_ functional, much less willingly attracted to women.”

“Two hours is a long time.” Naruto rasped, easing his arms up to settle on Sakura’s hips. “Mm, Sakura, you should absolutely sit on my face.”

“It’s absolutely not.” Sakura denied, but her resolve wasn’t strong. She didn’t say ‘no.’ When Naruto kissed her, Sasuke had to avoid the hands that immediately tangled into blonde hair, her body pressed flush with his front.

“We don’t _need_ two hours.” Sasuke shifted around, letting the couch take some of his weight and only cheating a little with chakra as he leaned over to drag a hand up her thigh. Naruto read his mind and shifted as well, pulling up on her hips even as he nudged one thigh between hers. They both heard her breathing quicken.

“We need at least thirty minutes to get ready.” Sakura bargained, immediately going for the hard stop. Not ‘ninety minutes’ or ‘an hour’. They’d eat up all their time arguing over it. “Any more than that and we won’t be able to get dressed and across town fast enough.”

“I can teleport.” Naruto _and_ Sasuke said, at the same time. It was a great argument. Sakura made a face at them.

“And I’ve got _Mokuton_. All the jutsu in the world won’t help us if we’re dick-deep in each other and not dressed by the time dinner rolls around.”

“We could… stay dressed.” Naruto tried, even as Sasuke’s long fingers started removing his top. Sakura moved her hands up his chest to do the same, but ended up coping a feel more than helping.

“Absolutely not.” Sasuke breathed into Naruto’s ear, biting along the shell.

“We could… send shadow clones?” His voice edged into slight desperation, rocking now against Sakura. Somehow one of her legs had slipped, seamlessly, between his and they had begun a light grind that stole the breath from Sasuke’s lungs.

Sakura paused at that. Even Sasuke looked up, hopeful. She tilted her head, then frowned ruefully.

“Nah.” She sighed. “You know what happened _last_ time we tried that.”

Something about enemy infiltration; the clones had ended up _popping_ in a bullshit manner that would have barely inconvenienced their real selves, memories rudely interrupting their fuck anyway. They’d had to leap out of bed because, in a village of more than twenty thousand shinobi, they somehow _always_ manage to get caught in the middle of every-fucking-thing.

“It might be worth a shot.” Sasuke said, trailing hot, open-mouthed kisses along Naruto’s exposed collar bone and shoulder.

“Yeah, but if I’m almost to an orgasm and get bombarded with memories of Ino’s second cousin asking stupid-ass questions about how a woman can make a career as a shinobi—or—or, I don’t know, praising me for knowing my place as a nurse, or something—”

She was tensing up just thinking about it, and they moved without discussion, Naruto neatly extracting himself from both of them to swing Sakura around to the middle, sweeping her off her feet.

Sasuke secured her with the ease of long practice, pulling her into a hot kiss that she rose onto her toes for, hands flat on his chest. Behind her, Naruto settled in, narrowing Sasuke’s world down to a Team Seven-shaped cacoon where no stupid dinner parties were required.

He thought he’d been done with that shit when he became the last of his family. It was one of the few—the _only_ few—upsides to not having a clan. Unfortunately, the other 99.99% was objectively terrible, unspeakably lonely, and he’d latched on to these clowns like Adamantium Chains, and now he was stuck with them.

Naruto rubbed his cock against Sakura through their clothing, and Sakura started getting handsy with Sasuke, and _eventually_ one of them thought to trigger a shunshin that carried them bodily to the bed, or at least the air above it.

“Let me,” Sasuke gasped, lost somewhere between kisses and hard, grinding pleasure, and eventually he found his head between someone’s legs, and someone had found the lube, and only Naruto’s hasty timer-seal drawn onto the back of Sasuke’s thigh early on in the proceedings saved them from missing the nonsense entirely.

“The things I do for Ino,” Sakura groaned, dragging herself out from between them. There were slick sounds, the tug of skin-on-skin, and Naruto took the opportunity to slide his cock into Sasuke as she got up.

Sasuke gasped, pressing his forehead into the sheets, which were clenched above his head in both hands as Naruto set up a _bruising_ rhythm. Sakura came out of the bathroom a few minutes later in time to catch him bury himself to the root and spill, messily, with the world’s sexiest moan.

Sasuke would never get tired of hearing that. He’d also never get tired of just how _strong_ Sakura was. Her civilian top was buttoned and paper thin, the kind of thing he had to look twice at because it wasn’t armored or reinforced with chakra at _all_. He could rip it just by touching it—unlike their sheets, made with shinobi hands—and so he kept his hands to himself when she walked up to them.

She wasn’t wearing pants yet, though, so he pulled her into his lap with ease. Naruto settled half on top of them, one hand trailing over Sasuke’s chest to push and prod at his nipples until his breath stuttered, and Sakura pushed him down until his back hit the mattress.

He thought she was going to jerk him off, fast and a little _mean_ because they had places to be, but her hand slipped lower instead, and two fingers prodded against his swollen entrance.

“We don’t have time.” He started, embarrassingly out of breath.

“Both of you,” She observed matter-of-factly, eyes dark with intent as she eased slowly but firmly into him, “Can _teleport_.”

And there was just no arguing with that, was there?

(In the end, they made it to the dinner only slightly ruffled, and five minutes early. If the extended Yamanaka family wondered why Ino’s boyfriend arrived with another couple, they said nothing, and when Sasuke and Naruto left alone a few hours later, well—

The grateful look in Ino’s eyes had morphed into something hungry once the last of the guests walked out, and there was just no need to stick around after that.)

**Author's Note:**

> [Find me on tumblr](https://definitelynotaminion.tumblr.com/)
> 
> [Watch me flail on twitter](https://https://twitter.com/jimothydrake/)
> 
> This was fun! I love the dynamic of @your two boyfriends "one of you has to beard for me and the other needs to beard for my gf bc extended family doesn't need to know Shinobis Be Fucking"
> 
> [ Come chat on the discord.](https://discord.gg/QcwjuYpB)


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